Monsters, Missed, and Loneliness

Wow, so this week has been quite the week, riddled with stress, lack of motivation, disappointments, and two little monsters who seem to be my constant companions lately. One of them, which I mentioned before is that green little devil, that never goes away. It seems to have it's claws so deep in my flesh that I can't seem to shake it off. Especially this time around. That whole stupid boyfriend marriage thing. I'm just feeling like everything that happens just pushes me towards feeling it even more and more, it's like since it now has it's claws into me it's growing roots and strengthening it's hold on me. It's absolutely miserable. I don't like it one bit. The other little monster that we seem incapable of getting rid of is loneliness. I really need to break out and meet more people. I miss having someone to talk to all the time. It's rough having Josh gone. He's been one of my best friends for so long. I felt like I could tell him everything and now it's just not the same. I know that he's doing exactly what he needs to be, and that it is so extremely important that I can't be upset with him being gone, but I also can't write to him anything that I really think, because I don't want to distract him from what he is doing, because I know it's so important. But with him being so far away, and so busy I can't even write to him about anything really, because I only hear from him every other month. Which is hard. I used to talk to him every day even when I lived up here and he was in Cedar. Oh well I guess, there isn't much I can do about it now. He's been gone for almost a year now so I guess it's really not that long until he gets home. And then that will be different and we'll see what happens from there. I guess that's all for now. I don't know about this blogging stuff still, I am never sure what I am suppose to write and what is too personal, but I don't think it really matters. The rest of this week is going to be pretty stressful so I should go and study.