Journey, Jogging, and Remembering

Wow, two posts within a month, I think I may be setting a new record for me...no, not really, I used to be a lot better at blogging before life got so busy, oh and did I mention that every single time I write the words a lot I spell it alot and have to erase it and rewrite it...every single time... You would think I would have learned by now, but of course I haven't.  But anyway. Life is a funny thing you know that? It has a way of throwing things at you that you never saw coming and moving so fast while still moving incredibly slow until you want to scream from the anticipation of the unknown. But that isn't really what I wanted to blog about, I wanted to blog about what has been a recurring theme of mine for basically the entire exsistance of this blog, and that is my running journey.

I'm a little ashamed to admit that for the last several months I kind of fell off the wagon, like hardcore fell of the wagon, hard enough to get road rash sort of falling off the wagon. I just never got back into it as much after my marathon attempt. I did run another half marathon in September, but my heart just wasn't into it really. I just forgot to remember why I was doing it. I run because it makes me happy. It makes me feel good. It makes me remember that I am better than I think I am, that I can do so much more than I think I am capable of, I run because that sore muscle feeling is one of the best. I run because I can help prove to everyone else that if I can do it than so can they. I run because it makes me a better person, both physically and emotionally. And I love that. I love how just maybe the fact that I get out and run might inspire someone else to get started, to remember all the things about themselves that makes them great. I love the sense of companionship you find with people you have never met before when you run. The way you feel like you can know a little bit about them and understand them just a little and that they can understand you a little better too. There is a connection there between complete strangers that I haven't really found anywhere else. And I forgot that this last little while. And I've missed it in a way I didn't really understand. I would go out occasionally to attempt to pick it back up, but I never made it more than one day or so, I just couldn't quite figure out what it was that was missing.

Then this week suddenly it was like something snapped back into place inside of me. Something I hadn't realized was out of place. I went for a run and out of no where on the last quarter mile, I remembered!! I remembered that I love this. I love the way it makes me feel. I love the way I feel about myself when I finish. I love how after every single run I want to go out and convince everyone I care about to do the same because I want them to be able to feel like I feel in that moment. Because everyone deserves to feel like that. There are so many small victories in running. That's why I love it so much. Because there are so many little things to focus on, like today I went out and ran about 3 miles. I haven't done that in probably four months, actually probably even longer, probably since my last half marathon in September, and it felt good. I'm kind of sore now, but I love that in and of itself. And you know what? I wanted to push myself farther. I didn't want to quit. I just wanted to run and run and lose all of the stress and thoughts in my head that have been trying to overwhelm me this last week. While I was running, school didn't matter, where I was living next month didn't matter, everything I need to get done before graduation and the wedding just didn't matter. There was just my feet and the road and the desire to be better. I LOVE that.

And so now, I think I can officially say that I am back on the running front, because I have remembered why I am doing it. I still have never gotten to the point where I felt I could really call myself a run, but rather I'm just someone who chooses to run occasionally, but I think this time, that is finally going to change. I think in a  year from now I will be able to finally say that I am definitely a runner. I look forward to being able to tell you all that. So since there hasn't been one for awhile, I dare you to find what you love, to remember why you love it, and to do it. I dare you to remember who you are and then when you do, encourage someone else to go out and do the same. Oh, and side note. I just read this book called the Present by Spencer Johnson, definitely a must read if you are struggling with anything in your life. I think it could help.

Wedding plans, Waiting, and Dusty Doodle

Okay, so this blog has been neglected for awhile. I've been meaning to do an update for about two months now, but life is just so busy that I haven't gotten around to it. But anyway, here goes. Life is great. Seriously, it's hard but it's amazing. The wedding is fast approaching and we are down to about 9 1/2 weeks before the big day. I can't believe how quickly it's coming. I'm getting all excited and nervous now everytime I think about it. Things are mostly planned by now so it's coming together. I have my dress, flowers picked out but not yet ordered, engagements taken, everything set up to take bridals in a couple of weeks, I'm just working on invitations now, it's crazy. The one thing we don't have yet is a place to live after we are married but it's difficult because we don't know where we will be living yet....

I still have only heard from one pharmacy school. I was accepted at Roseman University of Health Sciences at their Utah Campus so that is exciting. It's my 3rd choice of the three but I'm going to pharmacy school regardless. I was wait listed at the U...:( sad. Not exactly what I was hoping for but there is still a chance  that i could get in there, and I have yet to hear back from Idaho State so everything is still very up in the air right now. It's stressful since I am graduating in like five weeks and still have no idea where I will be living. But I'm excited. It's getting harder to be engaged. I just want to be married to that man already. It seriously is so hard to have to leave him and know I won't see him for another two weeks. Man do I hate this long distance relationship thing. But I love him so much, he is worth all the frustrations that come with it.

Now, about 7 or so weeks ago, on February 1st, my sister had a little boy, a whopping 7 weeks early. That little cookie was sure in a hurry to get here. His due date is tomorrow. Silly baby. He is healthy though and doing great. She named his Dustin Michael Gibbs, little Dusty. Goodness he is the most precious baby ever. It sucks that I don't get to see him very often but what can you do. I love his stinkin' little face. My parents are loving being grandparents and are so silly about him it's hilarious. My mom is seriously the biggest baby hog ever. She doesn't share. It's funny though because it makes Colton even more baby hungry than he already is, and I have to admit, there is something about holding something so precious while he has his arm around me that makes me want one too... I'm not in a rush to have one, but I guess we will see what the Lord has in store for us and when it's time to have one.

Engaged, Eve, and the Rest of Forever

So, it has been a little while since I have updated, and I know I need to get on the ball with that a little. Just in the hustle and bustle that is life I have kinda of forgotten about this blog a little. Life is basically amazing. As most of you probably know, I just got engaged last Saturday. A week ago today. It's weird that it was only a week ago, in some ways it feels like I have been for a long time. It is just strange because I really just feel like this is what my life was always meant to be. Like everything before him was just a dream and didn't really exist. I never in a million years would have guess that I would be engaged to someone only three months after I started dating them. But he proposed to me exactly three months after our first date, and I've never been happier or more excited to say yes to something in my entire life. People keep asking how he asked me, so I will tell you too. It was fairly simple, which I'm glad about. He talked to my parents the week before (I know right, what an adorable guy), which I didn't know that he had done, and then came up to Salt Lake to visit me. We went to the temple that morning to do baptisms, and I had absolutely no idea what he was planning, it was actually pretty funny. In the confirmation room the temple workers asked if we were married. We told them not yet, so they asked if we were engaged. Colton said no, and I joking said, "No, someone has to get on the ball and actually ask me..." totally just kidding, with no idea what was coming, and spent the rest of the time in the temple reminding myself later to tell him that I was just kidding and that I hoped he didn't feel like I was pressuring him into asking me before he wanted to. It's also really funny because we ended up in the middle of a rather large youth group doing baptisms so we were there for awhile, while I was just enjoying being in the temple, he was dying. He said he didn't think it was ever going to end, and then he had to wait even longer for me to get ready after baptisms, while he paced the hallway like crazy. But he says when he saw me come out of the dressing room and down the stairs his heart leaped like crazy and he got really excited to ask me. As we were leaving the temple he said he wanted to look around, which made me wonder what was going on, but not too bad, then he walked around to one of the fountains and said a few things that were really adorable and basically perfect, then went down on one knee and asked me. Yes, he did go down on one knee. I think I went into shock. I immediately said yes, but didn't really react much other than that. Until he had stood up and put the ring on me and then hugged me, then it really hit me. I got so excited that I think I screamed...probably in his ear. Then we just spent the rest of the day together, telling people, enjoy each others company, and enjoying the gorgeous ring that he picked out for me. That man has dang good taste. I seriously LOVE it. I don't think he could have found something I loved more if he tried.

But anyway, so yeah, I'm engaged. And starting to plan my wedding. It's stressful, but exciting. Every morning when I put my ring back on I get just a little more excited to be married to him. His so amazing. I don't know how I got so lucky to find someone who is so sweet and adorable to me. I just love him. That is all, just love him. I don't know if there is really a word to describe how I feel about him, but that one will have to suffice. But I'll tell you, wedding planning sucks. I wish someone else could just figure it all out for me, but I guess one day of planning for the rest of my life with him is worth it.

This semester is over. Thank goodness. It was a rough one. I pulled surprisingly decent grades, I don't think I earned them, actually I know I didn't earn them, but I will be happy and grateful for them anyway. I can't believe that I only have one more semester left before I graduate. I would like to know what happened to my entire undergraduate degree. But it's okay. Life is good. I'm just happy. And today is Christmas Eve. My favorite day of the entire year. I just love it. I love the anticipation that it brings, and I love the family traditions that we have. So enjoy the holidays!!

Moments, Memories, and Finals

Have you ever been able to look back on your life and pinpoint the exact moment where it began to change drastically? Exactly 100 days ago, almost to the hour, I received a text message from an old friend that I haven't heard from and have barely thought about in almost 8 years. That text message surprised me, and intrigued by how he had gotten my phone number, I responded, and we began talking. I didn't think much of it, other than "oh, what a fun blast from the past." It's funny how naive I was about what so simple a thing as answering that text would end up meaning. I am now dating that friend, and I have never been more happy in my entire life. He is amazing. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and he makes me feel better about myself than I ever have. When I look back at where I was 100 days ago, I don't even feel like it was the same lifetime as I am in now. It's like everything before him just isn't quite real, because this is what life was always meant to be. Me and him. Except the small fact that he lives in Cedar and I live in Salt Lake. That sucks. A lot. It's harder than I ever thought it would be. I miss him every moment. But he is so worth every second. I live for the weekends that I get to spend with him. I love him. Plain and simple. The last 100 days have just been amazing. Everyone of them. We've had some trials, but even those I don't regret. They have just made me love him more. So, here's to the next 100 days.

Did I ever post about getting an interview to pharmacy school? Well if not, I have an interview to Roseman University of Health Sciences in January. I'm so nervous! I really hope I get into at least one of the schools that I have applied to. Preferably the U, but I'm not too picky.

This semester is sucking school-wise. I just don't care about my classes. They don't interest me and it's a problem. I'm borderline failing a class. Which I never thought would happen to me. I hope it doesn't, but if it does, it's not the end of the world. I have decided that I need to learn to let myself fail occasionally, not that I'm going to fail on purpose, but sometimes I have such high expectations of myself that they are impossible to live up to and I'm tired of being upset with myself for not making it to a point that I set to high in the first place. So if I fail, it will suck, but life will go on and I will make up for it next semester. But I guess I should be doing studies instead of blogging right now anyway, so I'd better go. Just remember to not hate yourself if you don't quite make it to the goal you set. Just pick yourself back up and start again. Sometimes failing can teach you more about yourself than succeeding will.

Growing, Good Job, and Adam

Today's post goes out to my older brother. Adam, if you read this, I'm so proud of you!! For those of you who don't know Adam, he decided this spring that he wanted to change his life. And he sure has done an awesome job of it. Over the summer he has lost almost 100 pounds and has started on his way to a career that I think he will be really good at. But this weekend was the Snow Canyon Half Marathon. And he decided to run it. And holy cow did he run it. This was his first ever race and he finished in 1:55. I am extremely impressed. It sure blows my first time of 2:50 out of the water. It just goes to show that it is possible. For anyone. If you decide to take that first step, and then each little step after that, you can do it. And you will never regret it. So stop doubting yourself. Stop thinking that you aren't good enough, or strong enough, or whatever it is that you think, just stop. Get up, and get out there! Change your life, change your world, and then return the favor and inspire other people to do the same. It's hard, every second of changing is hard, but there's not a single person who has done it who won't tell you that it's worth it. Good job Adam. Keep it up!

Books, Babies, and Incredible Guys...er guy.

Well, it hasn't been too long since my last post, and not a ton has really changed. But I do have a few things to post that are very news worthy, and exciting. But before I get to those.

I pretty sure that this semester is trying to flatten me with a steam-roller, and unfortunately, because of the nature and size of a steam-roller, it is succeeding. I just can't seem to keep my head above water lately, and the problem is that it is entirely my own fault. I have the worst case of senioritis ever!! I am struggling to find meaning in my classes this semester because none of the information I am learning will be needed once this semester is over, but that is an awful mindset to have. My grades this semester still matter, but I'm having a hard time remembering it, and that is a major problem. They are going to take a major hit. Hopefully though I can save my self a little bit by being super good at studying the next about month and a half. Which means a few things are really going to have to go out of my life. One of those is going to have to be facebook. I tried to swear it off this week and it was an epic fail, but now I have to for real. I will only get on it if I can't be doing something else, which means basically never, at least until I manage to get myself caught back up, which may not actually happen because I am very far behind. So goodbye facebook world, for a little while at least.

But anyway, so I got offered my first pharmacy school interview. I'm so excited!! It is to Roseman something something, previously known as University of Southern Nevada. This school is only a three year program, which would be really nice, but it also is crazy expensive. Like almost 3 times what the U would cost me, which really sucks. It is both my second and fourth choice school. How you ask? Well, they have two campus', one in Utah (my second choice school) and one in Henderson Nevada (my fourth choice school), but really I'm just excited to have an interview. It's nice to know that there is at least one possibility, although an interview doesn't guarantee admissions of course. But I will interview on January 19, so wish me luck! I guess I had better find an outfit between then and now...Mom, shopping?

Also exciting news of the day? This week my sister found out what she is having. I'm so excited for her. IT'S A BOY! I really thought that it was going to be a girl, but it really doesn't matter. That little boy is going to be the most loved/spoiled little baby that ever lived I'm pretty sure. I'm so excited to get to meet him. I'm getting a nephew!! It kind of seems a little unreal to me to consider. I don't think I can really process it as something true, but I'm excited none-the-less. Only like five more months or something! YAY!

So, yeah, things are going great with Colton. As I mentioned in my last post, it was just the one month anniversary of when we started dating. Still can't really believe that. He is amazing though. He sent me the best present ever. It's hard doing this long distance thing. It's hard to not be able to be with him and at least see him on days like that, but there are some fun things about it. Like we did letters for our one month, which was great. That was seriously the best, sweetest, most adorable letter I have ever even considered receiving. It also included a leaf from a tree that is very special to both of us. He's just so adorable! He's definitely a keeper, that's for sure. I just wish I got to spend more time with him, but sadly school is apparently important, which I suppose I should stop blogging and get back to said school. So, Colton, honey, don't forget how crazy about you I am okay? Only 6 more days!! And the rest of you, don't forget to be as awesome as you know deep down you are!!

Fall Break, Forever, and Sister

Wow, so this semester is just flying by my head so fast that I can't even believe it. Today, marks exactly one month since I started dating the most incredible guy ever. I can't believe that it has been a month already, and yet I can't believe that it's only been a month. In some ways, I feel like we have been together forever, yet it also feels like it was just last week that we started dating. I got to spend most of fall break with him, and can I just tell you, he is just so adorable. If you wanted to be treated like a princess, find someone who treats you like he does me. He makes me so happy, and he makes me feel so good about myself. I love every second of time spent with him. This has been the best month ever, and I'm excited to see what the next month holds for us. Baby, if you read this, thank you for being so amazing!!

I hiked angels landing over fall break with him. It was so great. I haven't done that hike for a really long time, and holy crap, it scared me a little. Not bad, but a little. While we were hiking, we ran into this guy who was a cancer survivor whose chemo had made his feet mostly numb. Yet he was hiking the whole thing. I love that. I love it when people do things that are hard for them. I love when they push themselves and dare to do something that they aren't sure that they can do. Seeing him reach the top and knowing how hard it must have been for him was one of the highlights of the hike for me (not the only highlight, and not the best part by far, but still a major bright spot). I just couldn't help but feel so incredibly proud of him for making it all the way up, and I didn't even know him other than talking to him for like 5 minutes. But I'm still proud of what he managed to accomplish and that he didn't let anything, not even cancer keep him from doing something that he wanted to do.

So anyway, my big sister (well, my only sister really), is having a baby in March. I am so excited for her. It's going to be so fun to get to be an aunt. I'm thinking it's going to be a little girl but she thinks it's a boy. We find out in 9 days!! That is so exciting. I can finally start some serious Christmas shopping after that. I mean seriously it's almost November and I only have one present bought and figured out. That is really slow moving for me. It's okay though. But Sarah Beth, I really would like it if you could have this baby on the 18th, okay? thanks little baby for cooperating with me!!

Only one semester left until I graduate. I can't believe it. I don't feel nearly old enough to be graduating with my bachelors degree. It's nuts. But I will find out what pharmacy school I go to in March too. March is going to be a good month I think.