Journey, Jogging, and Remembering

Wow, two posts within a month, I think I may be setting a new record for me...no, not really, I used to be a lot better at blogging before life got so busy, oh and did I mention that every single time I write the words a lot I spell it alot and have to erase it and rewrite it...every single time... You would think I would have learned by now, but of course I haven't.  But anyway. Life is a funny thing you know that? It has a way of throwing things at you that you never saw coming and moving so fast while still moving incredibly slow until you want to scream from the anticipation of the unknown. But that isn't really what I wanted to blog about, I wanted to blog about what has been a recurring theme of mine for basically the entire exsistance of this blog, and that is my running journey.

I'm a little ashamed to admit that for the last several months I kind of fell off the wagon, like hardcore fell of the wagon, hard enough to get road rash sort of falling off the wagon. I just never got back into it as much after my marathon attempt. I did run another half marathon in September, but my heart just wasn't into it really. I just forgot to remember why I was doing it. I run because it makes me happy. It makes me feel good. It makes me remember that I am better than I think I am, that I can do so much more than I think I am capable of, I run because that sore muscle feeling is one of the best. I run because I can help prove to everyone else that if I can do it than so can they. I run because it makes me a better person, both physically and emotionally. And I love that. I love how just maybe the fact that I get out and run might inspire someone else to get started, to remember all the things about themselves that makes them great. I love the sense of companionship you find with people you have never met before when you run. The way you feel like you can know a little bit about them and understand them just a little and that they can understand you a little better too. There is a connection there between complete strangers that I haven't really found anywhere else. And I forgot that this last little while. And I've missed it in a way I didn't really understand. I would go out occasionally to attempt to pick it back up, but I never made it more than one day or so, I just couldn't quite figure out what it was that was missing.

Then this week suddenly it was like something snapped back into place inside of me. Something I hadn't realized was out of place. I went for a run and out of no where on the last quarter mile, I remembered!! I remembered that I love this. I love the way it makes me feel. I love the way I feel about myself when I finish. I love how after every single run I want to go out and convince everyone I care about to do the same because I want them to be able to feel like I feel in that moment. Because everyone deserves to feel like that. There are so many small victories in running. That's why I love it so much. Because there are so many little things to focus on, like today I went out and ran about 3 miles. I haven't done that in probably four months, actually probably even longer, probably since my last half marathon in September, and it felt good. I'm kind of sore now, but I love that in and of itself. And you know what? I wanted to push myself farther. I didn't want to quit. I just wanted to run and run and lose all of the stress and thoughts in my head that have been trying to overwhelm me this last week. While I was running, school didn't matter, where I was living next month didn't matter, everything I need to get done before graduation and the wedding just didn't matter. There was just my feet and the road and the desire to be better. I LOVE that.

And so now, I think I can officially say that I am back on the running front, because I have remembered why I am doing it. I still have never gotten to the point where I felt I could really call myself a run, but rather I'm just someone who chooses to run occasionally, but I think this time, that is finally going to change. I think in a  year from now I will be able to finally say that I am definitely a runner. I look forward to being able to tell you all that. So since there hasn't been one for awhile, I dare you to find what you love, to remember why you love it, and to do it. I dare you to remember who you are and then when you do, encourage someone else to go out and do the same. Oh, and side note. I just read this book called the Present by Spencer Johnson, definitely a must read if you are struggling with anything in your life. I think it could help.