Changes, Colton, and Happiness

So today I made a huge step in my life. I jumped off the edge, without thought of what may be below me, without much care, because it doesn't matter, I know that he's going to be there to catch me. To those who follow me on Facebook, which I'm pretty sure is basically every reader of this blog...you will know what I'm talking about already. Yep, that's right, I am now officially in a relationship. A long distance one no less...

Things are moving so fast that it terrifies me, but he makes me so happy that I forget to be afraid. The last few weeks have been some of the best of my entire life, and I seriously am just happy all the time. I have been putting off the decision to call it a relationship for probably a few weeks now, because I'm me, because I'm cautious, because I'm afraid, because letting yourself be that vulnerable is hard, because it is very fast and I tend to think things through for a long time before I decide on them. But after talking to a few friends this week, and my little brother, I was struggling to keep fighting the decision, I didn't want to fight it. I'm so crazy about him that I can hardly handle that I have to be away from him. I haven't even spent very much time with him, but I just want to be with him every second of everyday, he's incredible. He's everything I've ever dreamed of, and that in and of itself scares me...

But last night, after talking to Alex White for a little bit, he asked me a question that changed everything. I'm not going to put the question in here, but my answer to that question made me rethink everything. If that was my answer then how could I possibly not call this what it is, but still I fought it, all last night and most of this morning, until finally, I decided that I didn't want to fight it anymore. So my Facebook relationship status has officially changed. And my reaction to that simple thing surprised me. I thought a complete freak out would ensue, I thought I would be scared, but honestly, all I feel is completely and utterly happy about it, the only thing that I don't feel like flying about is the fact that I don't get to see him for another week and a half... I just feel so right about everything that is happening right now, and I think my cheek bones may break from excess smiling.

He called me sweetheart today....I could seriously die happy right this second. Life is incredible. He is incredible. It's still early, it's still new, and there is still a lot that we are going to have to work out and get through, but for him, I'll do it, because he is worth every second.

God, Greatness, and Just all Around Smiles

This post will be short, and not very informative I am sure. I don't feel like going much into why I am posting, maybe I will later, but for right now, I just have to post to tell the world how great life is right now. I'm so happy. Life is just all around great.  If you had told me a year, or even three months ago, the turns my life were going to take this semester to put me exactly where I'm at this moment, I would have told you that you were completely crazy.  But here I am.  And I'm SOOO grateful. I'm so grateful for an incredible God, who loves me when I don't deserve it, who blesses me even when I turn away from him, and who knows better than I can ever expect to know myself.  He sees what I need and where I need to go even when I think my path lies 180 degrees in the other direction, and he leads me that way even though I argue that it can't be the right way. Yet when I finally start to look around, I realize that this was even better than where I was hoping to end up. And I love it. I don't know what I have done to deserve such an amazing Father love me so much and never give up on me, but I hope I do better lately at not forgetting it.

This week has been amazing. Anyone who knows me really well will know that I'm a worrier, I worry and stress about everything and anything. But today, for the first time, in a long time, maybe ever, I was able to stop worrying completely. Every fear, every doubt I was able to give up and place directly in His hands, because he has never steered me wrong before, and if this is where He wants my life to go, then it is where I will find the more joy than I ever could have dreamed of. And this week has been a touch of it. Seriously, I am just happy. And life truly is amazing.

So my dare of this post? Take time to look around you and be grateful for everything that you have. Don't forget how blessed you really are. Find joy in the simple things. Don't forget to be happy. And most of all, don't forget that no matter where you are in your life, no matter what you are doing, or however unworthy of it you may think you are at times, God loves you so much more than you can ever even begin to comprehend. :)