Who am I?

There comes a time in life that it becomes necessary to take a step back and examine who we are becoming, and if needed, change the road we are taking to get there.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Semester, Sarah Beth, and Honor Society

Well, what a last little bit of a week or so...I swear this semester is trying to kill me. It is so busy all the time. I just feel like I can't get my head above water and we are only three weeks in. This is how you are supposed to feel right before finals week, not the very beginning of the semester. I have both a biochem and a human physiology test next week. Both on the same day. Who does that! But it's going by so fast that I am not really sure how to deal with it. I mean seriously!!! January is almost over!! What happened to it? I don't understand where the days went? This year has so many things going on I'm not sure I'm ready for it to go by so fast. I have to apply for pharmacy school and graduation in like ten months!! That is way too soon. What happened to my college career!! I just can't believe that I am almost a senior. Or that I have managed to keep my scholarship so far and have really great odds to keep it next year. That is fantastic!!

So I got an invitation to join the Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society today. I don't know if I should or not. It sounds really prestigious and everything and like it would be valuable to resumes or whatever, but it's 80 bucks. I don't know. This year and next are really going to take their toll on my wallet. or as someone's facebook status said today "Dear Bank Account, nomnom nom. Sincerely, College." It made me laugh so hard.

I got to go have dinner tonight with my favorite, Sarah Beth. I was so excited to see her. She's so great and always makes me laugh. It's nice just to feel like I can let loose and be crazy because I don't really know how to do that all that well, and she really does, so that was great. And she is coming to visit me!! I'm so excited. These next three weekends are going to be crazy. MG sleepover this weekend (so excited), Sarah Beth next weekend, and the home for the parade of homes the next weekend!!! YAY!!! Three awesome things right in a row.

On a side note, I got some interesting news from my older brother that made me laugh like crazy. Sometimes I can't believe some of the things that he does.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

My Baby, My Speech, and Sidenotes


I don't really have a ton to write today. It's been a very stressful week for me, I don't exactly know why but it's just like everything caught up with me and I had a little bit of a freak out on tuesday night, but life is a little better now. I wish like crazy though that I could have Jack up here with me. I love his freakin' face. He makes me laugh all the time, and he just loves me so much. I miss him.

Anyway, so I gave my first speech in my public speaking class today. That was completely nerve wracking, and not really my all time favorite thing ever. I think that I did okay in it, but I don't know, I was shaking like crazy, which is just silly. I was only in front of like 20 people, and the speech wasn't even graded. It makes me kind of sad sometimes. I wish that I wasn't such a baby about things, I wish I was braver. I wish I didn't let my fears rule me so much of the time. Which is kind of ironic because I am all about facing your fears. I don't believe that you sho
uld let being afraid of something stop you from doing it, yet if I really look at it, I kind of do a lot more than I should. It's sad and I really need to work on changing that.

Speaking of facing fears...they are starting a ballroom team most likely up here at the U, and I am thinking about trying out for it. Last night they had a ballroom social and I have to admit I was kind of nervous to go. I haven't danced since high school really, and there is always that small part of me that says, "what if I suck? what if no one asks me to dance and I just end up standing there alone...blah blah blah.." anyway, but I went, and I ended up having a blast. I forgot how much I absolutely love dancing!! Recently I was updating my bucket list, and I had on there that I wanted to waltz at my wedding. I seriously considered taking it off, I didn't really think that I cared enough about it to really make it worth it. But after last night, I am definitely keeping it on there. I love it!!! And I'm super glad I went to the social.

Quick side notes, I am going to dinner tonight with Adam, that should be fun. I haven't seen him since Christmas so that will be good. I also took down all of my countdowns. Sad. It does make me sad, but it's better in a lot of ways. I just couldn't deal with the stress they entailed this week and so I need to detox my life for a bit. We'll see if that changes. I don't know how well you can tell from the picture, but that is my parents 6 month old puppy Steiger. He is so awesome. And such a sweet heart. He's really smart as well and makes Jack seem like the dumbest dog ever (which he just might be). Anyway, so that puppy weighs over 100 pounds already. He's going to be so huge!! It's awesome!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

School, Salads, and Training

Well, where to start. We are now almost through the first week of school. It's been pretty good, maybe a little rough, but it's a good start. I'm really excited for most of my classes, namely common medicines, human physiology(although it will kick my butt), and surprisingly biochemistry. I am okay with my ecology class, could be cool, but just not really my cup of tea. However, I am so not looking forward to my public speacking class...today i had to give a 45 second speech about my favorite thing to eat for breakfast. Seeing how I hate breakfast and wouldn't eat if it weren't the most important meal of the day, not really very good. But the teacher is nice enough so it's alright.

I am endevoring this semester to try and eat more healthy. My lunch yesterday, spinach salad with a few croutons and some left over chicken, and yes, a little bit of ranch. It sucks that ranch has to be so unhealthy, but it's the only kind of dressing that I really care for. Actually though, the salad was good. I forgot how much I like spinach with croutons and ranch. Today, whole wheat bread, extra lean ham, tomatoes, spinach, and a tiny bit of mayo. Also a banana and fruit leather. Not too bad if I say so myself. It's a start. I am also trying to participate in a sugar fast with my friend Alexi and Bridget. With the rule being that one thing of "candy" is allowed each week. I was so hoping to go party at TCBY on Saturday to celebrate my first week without sugar, but I gave in and ate some dark chocolate milkyways on tuesday...sad.

Anyway. So last week I started back into serious marathon training, for my first full coming up in June. I haven't really ran since the half, so it's been interesting to get back into it. My body isn't quite sure how to handle it, but it will remember. Since the air quality and ice have been so bad I have been running on the indoor track, and I'll admit, it is a serious mental battle just to run 1 mile. (7.5 laps.) But today I learned something interesting. I really hit my "runners high" between 4 and 6 miles. I don't enjoy it much before that, after that it's difficult, but when I am running those two miles, I remember why I'm doing it. I realize how great running really can be, and how incredibly worth it it is. Too bad I can't hit that a little earlier....oh well. I am super excited though, because Deborah is now training with me, and I LOVE!! having someone to run with all the time. It makes it so much easier. and I greatly appreciate her slowing down her stride to run at my pace. Also, I finally, finally, after months of trying, was able to talk my sister into running with us for the half marathon in September. And so she is now training as well at home. I love it. I love seeing other people improve themselves and realize how worth it it really is, even though every minute of it is hard. It makes you feel so good after you are done. I can honestly say today that I love running. (that may not last long though...)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

My Marathon, Motivation, and Blessing

Wow, so I just realized how long it has been since I have posted on here. It's almost kind of sad actually. So much has happened since September. First and foremost, I have been so blessed that it is unreal. I have the most amazing college ward that anyone could ask for, the most amazing bishop who has helped me more in the last few months than I ever would have though possible. I have met some amazing people this last semester that I truly look up to and have really helped me become closer to who I want to be. I have the best friend anyone could ever ask for who is willing to give up two years of his life to serve the Lord and he comes home in 98 days. I have a fantastic family who supports me in everything I set my mind to accomplishing, and I have wonderful pets who love me unconditionally and always make me laugh. Oh, and of course, I got amazing grades this last semester and can now get four B's and 1 A- and still keep my scholarship for my senior year, so that is a big relief and a huge weight off my mind.

Anyway, I realized I never wrote about my Half Marathon. It was an amazing experience, and one that I will never regret as long as I live. Also one of the proudest (if most painful) days of my entire life up to this point. To those of you who don't know my running history, By the time I was a senior in high school I had probably ever only ran a mile without stopping, and found it hard to believe I could possibly run much more than that. But the summer after my first year of college my dad started talking about the Biggest Loser Marathon, and I realized then that if they could do it, I could do it. So I talked my Dad in to running a marathon and planned to run one the next April. But as the months started to go by, my running started to dwindle...my dad ran his first half that November, then his first full in June. And me? Well I think the most I had ran at that point was only 4 miles, which granted, for me that was a huge accomplishment. But compared to the 26.2 that I had planned on running...not so great. So I decided to try again. To set the goal to run my full marathon in June of 2011, and so I started again trying to train. I did a little better this time around, but still not as great as I could have. But I trained enough that I could run the Snow Canyon Half marathon in November 2010. I really probably didn't train near as hard as I could have and only had one 10 mile run behind me by the time it came around, but I was determined to do it anyway. Unfortunately I injured my foot about 3 weeks before, but it didn't matter.

So the day finally came to run. I don't think I have ever been more nervous, terrified, and excited before in my life. My dad ran with me, the race, but he didn't actually run next to me the whole time. Which I'm actually glad for because it meant I did it all on my own, pushing myself, for almost the whole race. the first 7 miles were amazing! The scenery, fantastic. The temperature, perfect. I felt great. I can honestly say that the first hour or so was one of the best of my entire life. I have never felt so proud of myself. I didn't stop running once. It started to get a little harder after that, but not terrible. until I hit about mile 9. then my poor injured foot started to throb. I tried to ignore it and kept pushing on. By the time I hit mile 10.5 I started to have shooting pain up my leg from my foot and the muscles in that leg started locking up. So I walked for a bit. I have to admit, I'm a little ticked about it. I would have liked to say that I ran the whole thing, but next time I will. So I walked for a bit, in serious pain. but when I was almost to mile 12 I saw my Dad and my Sister walking towards me. They had walked up from the bottom to finish with me. (My Dad had finished himself almost and hour before...) So I ran the end with them, it pain, and crossed the finish line bawling because my foot hurt so bad, but I did it. I ran my first half marathon only walking 1.5 miles of the total 13.1. AMAZING!!

So that was fantastic, I can't wait to do another one and beat my time of 2:50:01, not a great time, but for someone who thought they couldn't run a mile 3 years ago, not too shabby. I am now starting some serious training this next semester and will be running my first full marathon on June 11. I will then be running a half in September with my Dad, Sister, and possibly my little brother, and then will do the snow canyon again in November. I can't wait for all the good things still to come this next year. I also am planning to try and run my first ever 5k. I know, I'm a little backwards since my first race ever was a half and not a 5 or 10k. But look forward to more amazing posts to come because my life truly is a good one.