Elli, Education, and Life in General.

I'm not the best at updating this blog anymore. I keep up with the one about Elli often enough that I kind of forget about this blog. But I guess it's time to update about me and Colton's life. Things have been kinda different this summer. I have my second year rotations, meaning I have worked unpaid for eight weeks. The school was really good and worked with me so both of my rotations have been in Cedar City, one at the hospital and one at township pharmacy. Which means that Colton and I have been living down here in Cedar for the last six weeks. We lived with his parents for the month of july and then are with my parents for this month until the weekend before school starts up again. I can't believe that I am through my second year. Halfway done with pharmacy school. I also only have one year left of classes ever in my whole life and then it will just be rotations for my last year. It's all going by so fast. I have really enjoyed it so far. I'm both excited and terrified that I am over half way done with pharmacy school. It's going to be a whole other world when I have to get a real job and all that.

Colton's school life is going well too. I don't remember when I last wrote so I'll just start from the beginning. He ended up getting on the waitlist for the Occupational Therapy program, which was incredibly stressful not knowing what was going to happen and if he needed to find a job if he wasn't going to get in or if we needed to have a daycare lined up so if he did. But after about two months they finally offered waitlist spots and he got one! We are so excited. There were only seven spots and 20 people on the list so we are pretty happy. We are both super excited for him to start. Once we found out that he was in we had to find a daycare, which we probably should have done sooner since for infants there are huge waitlists. All of them we could find close to the U had both large waitlists and also you have to pay for full time care even though we need only 12 hours a week this semester. Which 1200 a month for 12 hours a week was a little outside of our price range. We finally found one in Sandy that we like, that had an opening, and that we only had to pay for two days a week so we can actually afford it. I'm pretty excited about that. Then when we found out about Elli's cast, which you can read about here: http://ourveryfirstpeanut.blogspot.com/ I was pretty nervous about what our options were going to be and if the day care would still take her or if we were going to have to try and find a nanny. I called the daycare and they said they could accommodate her cast as long as we came in a few times to show them all the ropes with it. So we are so excited and feel very blessed that things have worked out so well with everything. So Colton will start up on the 22nd of this month.

I am still loving my job. I'll work just one day a week, most likely Saturdays so that we can have a little income and I can still work. Colton is going to take this first semester off work until he sees how hard his program will be and then if he feels like he can do it then he will try to find an on campus job to do so I guess we will see what happens with that.

We had our two year anniversary on 5/26. We didn't do much. Just went for a short hike and then went out to a nice dinner. It was nice just to have the time away from everything and not have Elli with us, that doesn't happen very often. Luckily she's usually pretty good though so it isn't too bad having her with us. We also had Sarah take some family pictures of us that turned out adorable! I seriously love them.

School, Semester, and Elli

Well. Big things are happening at the Savage house. The semester of school is going in full swing again with two weeks of the 16 down. It's been very stressful already with everything up in the air with the baby. But it's been good still. I have been able to work things out with my teachers so far for doing things at home for a little while with Elli. Which, she was born on January 13th, 2014. If you want to read about her birth story you can find it on her blog here.

http://ourveryfirstpeanut.blogspot.com/

Colton is doing great with school. He graduates with his degree in Human Development in May, and then he just found out that he has an interview for the Occupational Therapy program at the U so he will be doing that on February 14th, and then by the beginning of March we will know if he got in. I'm so proud of him already for getting as far as he has. So whatever happens now we know that his application is great because he got an interview and now we just get to wait and see again for a bit. 

My mom just graduated with her master degree in counseling and will walk in West Jordan the same weekend that Colton's graduation is. I'm really proud of her too. She has been working very hard to get to where she is now. Everyone else is good too. Dusty is almost two and is as cute as ever. I just can't believe how big he is already. 

But anyway. That's really everything. Our lives are really amazing. We are so blessed, more than we would ever hope for.  

Minutes, Miracles, and a Dare

It's been a little while since I've updated this blog. Most everything has been on my pregnancy blog instead of this one, and life has just been busy overall. But yeah, in case you missed it, we are having a baby!!! I will be 26 weeks tomorrow. Only 99 days left! It's going to be a little girl, due on January 15, 2014. We are so in love with her already! And since everyone asks, we have picked out the name Elli Bernice. Though it may or may not change at some point if we feel it just isn't what her name is supposed to be. Colton is hard at work with a crazy busy semester and will finish up his application for the U's master of OT program next week. Interviews are in February so keep sending up prayers that he gets one. I have no doubts that he will be fine and get in but it never hurts to have more people praying. I'm just going through my second year of pharmacy school and it's flying by faster than I can even comprehend.

I mostly just wanted to post because I wanted to talk about something I have started to learn since being pregnant. It's been a hard lesson for me, and one that I wish I would have learned earlier in my life. But it is a beautiful message to understand and know now. Anyone who knows me personally probably knows that I have some body image issues (what girl doesn't in our society, right) but mine are bad. I have little to no self-esteem at times and I struggle to feel like I am good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, etc. But so many things have changed with this little life growing inside me. I have begun to realize and see my body for the incredible miracle that it truly is. It's amazing. Truly. It has the capacity to grow this little life, and provide her with everything she needs to become a whole person. It is strong, healthy. I can lift incredibly heavy objects for a women, I can hike for miles without stopping. I am working on my feet 20 hours a week, going to school full time with 18 graduate level credits, and 6 months pregnant, yet my body just keeps on going and giving me all it has to give. I walk one hour 4 days a week now, to and from class, and it just does it. It has run two half marathons in under 3 hours with no training, simply because I asked it to do so. It's always been amazing and has never let me down. So why do I hate it? HOW can I hate it? It is beautiful. It is a miracle unlike anything else in this world. And slowly, my whole world has been shifting around this concept. My body is imperfect. But I love it anyway. I love those imperfections that make me me. I love the fact that I have incredible strength and stamina that makes it possible for me to do everything I love and want to do, things that I might not be able to do if I had the perfect skinny body I used to dream of. My body has been good to me, and I want to start being as good to it as it is to me. I want to be able to instill in my daughter a love of her body. A realization of the miracle that she is, to me and otherwise. So I will still exercise, I still plan to run and train for a half-marathon next year, but it's different now. I don't want to run because maybe if I do so then I will be skinny and finally be worthy of my own love. I want to do it because I do love my body, I love it enough to treat it right. To exercise it and make it as healthy as it can be. And everything about that thought process is amazing.

So guess what? I dare you to try. To try and see your body for the miracle that it is instead of the imperfections that it has. To try and love it, because it is so good to you. It makes it possible for everything that you do and have and love to be available. I promise you that if you can do it, if you can find the miracle within yourself, your world will never be the same again.

New apartment, Nephew, and Life in general

We moved into our new apartment!! I'm so excited. I like it so much better than our old one. It's a little smaller than the old one was but it has two bedrooms and the space is just used sooooooo much better. I actually have some counter space, and a pantry and a coat closet and cupboards in my bathroom. Its so worth the move. We bought carpet and my dad came and helped us put it down then Colton's family helped us move everything over and unpack. I'm so grateful for all of the help everyone gave us. I love living here!! Our new living room and kitchen with awesome giant windows.

I also had to post a few pictures of my nephew because he is so stinking cute and I can't even believe how adorable he is!! I love this stinkin' kid!

Well, life is good right now. Just living and Colton is taking a summer physics class. I'm just enjoying my time off for the summer even though I'm working so much that it isn't really time off. At least my brain isn't being so overstimulated.

P2, Plans, and Summer

Well, I have officially survived my first year of pharmacy school!!! I cannot believe that I am now basically a P2. this last year went by so fast. I have almost been married for a year too. I can't believe how fast it has flown by. Pharmacy school has been good to be so far. My lowest grade is a B, which I'm not ashamed of at all. It's hard. But now I only have two years of classes left and then one of rotations. I can't believe that!! I will be done with school before I know it.

Colton's semester went great. He ended up getting a 4.0 this semester. I am so proud of him, but not really surprised. I knew he could do it. I'm really excited for him though, this gives him a great starting place on his prerequisites for applying to the OT program next fall.

Really that is all I have to say. Sad, well except that we are moving again in June. I'm so excited. The apartments that we are moving to have so much nicer kitchens, which is exciting. I'm not excited to move though. Which reminds me, my parents are moving. They have to be out of the old house by the end of may. I'm excited for them, but I'm also really sad. I grew up in that house, and it has a lot of memories, but it will be a good change as well. The new house is really nice. Although I haven't seen it since they started cleaning it up. I hope that will be next weekend. Well anyway, that's really all for now. This is a boring post, sorry, but it's late and I'm tired.

Procrastinating, Prayers, and General Updates

Well, it's been awhile I suppose, which means it is time for an update. Or really I am just incredibly tired of studying for my exams this week and some I'm trying to procrastinate a little....

Anyway, since my last post, let's see what has happen? Not a lot of big events that I can think of, unless I never posted about somethings, which is very likely. So, where to begin. My first semester of pharmacy school is over, and I passed. Thank heavens...With really good grades too I may add. Now, I didn't get a 4.0 by any stretch, but I worked hard for the grades I got and I'm proud of them. This semester has been going by in a whirlwind. I'm not quite as good as I was last semester at staying on top of things, and that makes it hard, but truth be told, I'm tired. I'm tired of school. I haven't stopped going to school since I was 5 years old, and I'm tired. I love school, I really do, and I don't know what I will do when it is no longer such a huge part of my life, but right now I'm tired. Well, only 69 days left this semester and then just three more years. I think I can handle that. I can't believe how fast my first year has already gone by! In everything. I have been married for almost nine months already. That is insane!

By anyway, Colton is also doing really great in school and enjoying it. He decided he wants to go into Occupational Therapy and is just finishing up his human development degree over the next year so he can apply for the masters program. He is working so hard this semester that I'm looking really lazy next to him, but I'm so proud of him, and I know he's going to be an amazing OT, so send some prayers our way that he will get into the program at the U next fall so he can be finishing up while I am.

My brother Adam got a job as a high way patrol man out in dusuene (I have no idea how to spell it) county out by Roosevelt. He seems to be really loving it, and I'm really proud of him. It's strange to consider that two of my siblings are in careers now and that I will be joining them in the near future. When did we get so old? Oh, and speaking of careers, my mom is almost finished with her masters degree, I think she finishes this year actually. Go Mommy! I'm so proud of all of my family for everything they are accomplishing.

Little Doodle Bug is getting cuter and cuter every second. He's crawling like a mad man now and is just starting to try and walk. He's growing up way too fast! But he gives everyone loves all the time and is seriously one of the happiest babies ever. He is also not allergic to milk anymore. Thank heavens, that was a pain, but we are still waiting for more allergy testing to find out about the wheat.

My in-laws are also doing great. They are so great at helping us out, they probably have no idea how much I depend on them. I am so grateful that I ended up marrying into a family that I like and get along with almost as much as my own. They seriously are the best, and they of course raised the most amazing man for me to marry and I will forever be grateful to them for that.

I guess I have procrastinated enough and should study for my test tomorrow. I will tell you, Pharmacy school is hard. Very very hard. but it's so worth every second.

Musings, Memories, and Random Thoughts

I have a lot of thoughts in my head right now, a lot of thoughts too big to be thinking about at almost midnight on a Saturday night, but I can't help but wonder. I wonder who I would be today if I hadn't decided to go where I did for college, if I hadn't decided to move away from Cedar City 5 years ago. How many things about my life and who I have become would be different? I miss Cedar, I won't deny that. I miss the little things. I miss the late night chats with Jake, laughing about my mom and her silly quirks. I miss sharing a room with Sarah and having her read me the news of the weird and her making me play life all the time. I miss waking up to the sound of my dad cooking on the weekends and talking to him while everyone else was still in bed, or just sitting with him even if we didn't talk. I miss getting to see my dog everyday. I miss feeling like no matter how hard things got, I could always go home and there would be warmth and love and family, and without fail, someone teasing me for being ridiculous. Yes, I miss that life sometimes and sometimes I regret that fact that I chose to leave it. That I was so ready to get out at that point, that I couldn't wait to get away.

But then again, in so many other ways, I don't regret it...As much as I love that sleepy little town that made me into the person that I was, I think I found myself in Salt Lake, found myself in a way I couldn't in Cedar City, Cedar made me into who I was, but Salt Lake made me into who I am. And don't get me wrong, I love my life now too. I love my husband, and I have just as much feeling of love and warmth in my apartment now as I did in my home back then, and I love being in pharmacy school, I love working in pharmacy, I love the life I living, but there is a part of me who is torn. A part of me that feels an insane amount of jealously for those who didn't accomplish the things that I have, but instead got married and now stay at home with their kids all the time. The whirlwind of the life I have chosen excites me, and makes me feel alive, and I feel that I am thriving in the difficulties of making it through this crazy rush of things, but there is a small corner of who I was, a small corner of that girl who used to sit in the kitchen on Saturday mornings with my dad, that misses the slow beauty there is to life to.

So, I guess I don't know what I'm saying. I guess you should be happy where you are at, because you can never have everything. But you can come pretty close. You can have the exciting life of accomplishment while getting a Doctorate degree, and you can also have the amazing husband who holds you while you sleep and takes care of things so you don't have to and creates a wonderful atmosphere of love to come home to. And I guess I'm saying that family is important, so don't take them for granted, because really, the people we love and care about are the only thing that really matters. And I guess I'm saying that I shouldn't stay up so late night after night because I become way to philosophical when really my life is good and even though I will always be homesick a little at times, I chose the life I wanted and the life that made me into the best me I could have become. I chose the life I was supposed to live, and I may always wonder who I would have been had I choose differently, but really, that doesn't matter, I will never know that person, but there person I know now is still a good one.