I've had this topic a lot on my mind lately so I finally decided to write about it on this Mich neglected blog. This is mostly spurred because I have a friend who decided not to wean her 14 month old baby yet, because her baby isn't ready. She was then told by others that "nursing is for babies" and that she needed to be more strict with her toddler. Well, Elli is almost fifteen months. I still nurse her 2-4 times a day (judge me if you will I don't care.) Everyone I know has been so supportive of my breastfeeding journey and for that I'm so grateful. I know I couldn't have done it without their support, especially Colton's. I am starting to get asked a lot more when I'm going to wean Elli completely and the truth is, I don't know. When she decides she's ready I guess. But the truth is, it's more me that's not ready than it is her. I don't understand how I can be expected to give it up, that sweet quiet time every day that is ours. Watching her drift easily off to sleep as I comfort her as I have since she was born. It hurts, saddens, and scares me to think that once we stop it's gone. Never again will I have the cure that always fixes it when she sad, tired, teething, gotten shots, or has a fever. Never again will I be able to console her when she wakes up scared like I do now. And there is some thing about stopping, a finality to it that means my baby, isn't a baby anymore. And I'm not so sure I'll ever be ready for that.
I wish the world would be more silent. That they wouldn't feel the constant need to push us into making our babies grow up faster. From making them cry it out at a few months old, to stopping nursing just because your child reached some milestone of hitting 12 months old. The truth is they are little for such a short time. They will grow up and sleep through the night and those quiet moments will be gone. I'll be well rested, and love watching her grow but a part of me will always miss the baby times when she was my whole world but I was hers. So for now, I think I will just let my baby be little, and soak up this time before I blink and it's gone. Elli will let me know when she's ready to be done nursing, and by that time hopefully I'll be able to say the same for myself.
I do want to add a disclaimer...while I have loved nursing for as long as I have, and am grateful and proud that I was able to do so, I don't think moms who choose to bottle feed for ANY reason love their children any less or are any less amazing of a parent.
