General Updates, Graduation, and Moving to St George

Well, with everything going on in our life this blog kind of gets put on the back burner. I do really well at updates to Elli's blog but not so much this one. Unsurprising since shes the cutest one of the bunch anyway. To see more about her life and updates you can read my blog for her here:

http://ourveryfirstpeanut.blogspot.com/

The rest of us are doing good too. I am almost done with pharmacy school. Just 6.5 more months. 193 days to be exact until I graduate on May 6, 2016. I'm super excited. I have two weeks left on the rotation that I am currently on and then after that I have four more 6 week rotations left until I graduate. It's been a rough road but it's almost over. I don't currently have any jobs lined up, though I do have some really good possibilities that I won't find out about until this spring a little closer to graduation. I'm not too worried about it and wouldn't mind a little time off to spend with Elli after full time rotations for a year.

Colton is almost halfway through his second year of his master's in Occupational Therapy. After this semester he only has two semesters left of class and two semesters of 12 week rotations and then he'll graduate in May of 2017. He is doing amazing. His teacher on his fieldwork currently says that his intervention plans are good enough that she will be using them as examples for everyone else. Needless to say, I am very proud of him and how well he is doing. He will have classes this spring and next fall with rotations this upcoming summer and the spring of 2017. He is still unsure exactly what he wants to do, but we are leaning towards school distract OT which would be great because he's be off school when our kids are off school too.

But that brings me to my next point that we are super super excited about!! WE ARE MOVING TO ST GEORGE IN MAY!!!!! It was a tough decision, but we were hoping to eventually get to move down there after we both were graduated. But we got to thinking about it and after I have graduated and am looking for a job it would make it harder to get one and then move just a few months later after Colton graduates. So we were able to work it out with his teacher so that he will do his rotation over the summer at Dixie Regional, and then his rotation over the spring will be at Washington county school district. It does kind of make it hard that those two are broken up by a semester of classes but we decided that we will just rent an apartment in both places just for that fall semester so he can attend classes but we can move and be where we want to be. So we will live in Salt Lake as well as st. george for the 15 weeks of fall semester.

We can't wait to get down there and be closer to family, though I'm a little nervous about the heat...but it will be good. It makes graduation even more exciting than it already was. I can't wait.

Breastfeeding, Blessed, and Toddlerhood

Today was a very momentous, exciting, and heartbreaking day at our house. Now I know I promised a full life update, and I promise that is still in the works, but before that I just have to write about this too. My sad/happy news of today is very much in-line with my last post on here, but as of tonight, Elli is officially weaned from breastfeeding. She's been only nursing at bedtime for more than a month now but tonight she fell asleep without nursing and without any sadness. It's such a strange mix of emotions for me that she is done. Breastfeeding has been such a huge part of my life. I spent my entire pregnancy wanting to do it and then for the last 15 and a half months it has been an everyday thing, some days an all day thing.

I feel very grateful, blessed, and proud that I was able to nurse her for as long as I did, to be honest, I never expected to make it that long. I'm grateful for the bond it has helped me have with her, for the comfort I was able to give her when she was upset, for how easy it made putting her to sleep. While I'm excited for the next chapter in her life as she grows and learns, it's also quite heartbreaking that my little baby is growing up so fast. This just drives it home to me so much stronger, she's not a little baby anymore, she's my strong, smart, independent, toddler, and I love her with everything I am. So now if you'll excuse me, I need to go cry and celebrate for reaching this milestone.

Nursing, Nighttime, and Growing Up

I've had this topic a lot on my mind lately so I finally decided to write about it on this Mich neglected blog. This is mostly spurred because I have a friend who decided not to wean her 14 month old baby yet, because her baby isn't ready. She was then told by others that "nursing is for babies" and that she needed to be more strict with her toddler. Well, Elli is almost fifteen months. I still nurse her 2-4 times a day (judge me if you will I don't care.) Everyone I know has been so supportive of my breastfeeding journey and for that I'm so grateful. I know I couldn't have done it without their support, especially Colton's. I am starting to get asked a lot more when I'm going to wean Elli completely and the truth is, I don't know. When she decides she's ready I guess. But the truth is, it's more me that's not ready than it is her. I don't understand how I can be expected to give it up, that sweet quiet time every day that is ours. Watching her drift easily off to sleep as I comfort her as I have since she was born. It hurts, saddens, and scares me to think that once we stop it's gone. Never again will I have the cure that always fixes it when she sad, tired, teething, gotten shots, or has a fever. Never again will I be able to console her when she wakes up scared like I do now. And there is some thing about stopping, a finality to it that means my baby, isn't a baby anymore. And I'm not so sure I'll ever be ready for that.

I wish the world would be more silent. That they wouldn't feel the constant need to push us into making our babies grow up faster. From making them cry it out at a few months old, to stopping nursing just because your child reached some milestone of hitting 12 months old. The truth is they are little for such a short time. They will grow up and sleep through the night and those quiet moments will be gone. I'll be well rested, and love watching her grow but a part of me will always miss the baby times when she was my whole world but I was hers. So for now, I think I will just let my baby be little, and soak up this time before I blink and it's gone. Elli will let me know when she's ready to be done nursing, and by that time hopefully I'll be able to say the same for myself.

I do want to add a disclaimer...while I have loved nursing for as long as I have, and am grateful and proud that I was able to do so, I don't think moms who choose to bottle feed for ANY reason love their children any less or are any less  amazing of a parent.