Frustrations, Faith, and Blessings

This post may be slightly more personal than most, but I figure that anyone who would actually read this won't mind. I just want to start by saying how amazing it is how much God loves me. I truly don't deserve the amount of effort that he puts forth trying to lift me and make me happy. He always places my feet exactly where they should go, and puts exactly what I need right in my path. I'm so grateful that he doesn't ever give up on my, he truly is amazing, but I wish I could have a little more faith sometimes. Faith that he's not just going to give up on me. Faith that he's always going to love me and isn't going to leave me alone. Faith that he cares about what's important to me. Faith that he wants what is best for me and knows what that is. Faith in his timing. I just get so frustrated with myself sometimes. Why can't I just put it in his hands and trust that he knows best, and that his timing is best. I hate it when I find myself thinking that I can't wait for things to happen and my life to really start. This is my life!! I'm living it now, and waiting around for those big events is making me miss the small ones that take my breath away. I want to be better about living my life, having faith in God's timing, and patience that it will all work out eventually. I want to live up to the amazing woman that God meant for me to be. I want to make Him proud. I want to live up to that trust he has placed in me, and be worthy of every blessing he has heaped upon me. He gives me so much more than I deserve and I'm tired of taking advantage of it, or worse, like feeling like it's not enough. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of hoping that eventually things are going to work out. I just have to trust that they will, and do my best to keep moving forward, appreciating every sweet breath that I'm given, every white cloud or beautiful flower that I was given to enjoy in my life.